


Oh My Heart, In This Universe So Vast

by Memories_of_the_Shadows



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Sentinels and Guides Are Known, Aromantic, Complete, Families of Choice, Family Feels, Food, KakaZabu Week 2020, Knitting, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Spirit Animals, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000, headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:40:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25081765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Memories_of_the_Shadows/pseuds/Memories_of_the_Shadows
Summary: A chance meeting outside of the café that Haku works at threatens both Kakashi and Zabuza's equilibrium.  Only time will tell if they'll take the possibilities that meeting provides, or if the status quo proves too comfortable to change.
Relationships: Haku & Momochi Zabuza, Hatake Kakashi/Momochi Zabuza, Hoshigaki Kisame & Momochi Zabuza, Maito Gai | Might Guy/Hoshigaki Kisame/Yamashiro Aoba
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	Oh My Heart, In This Universe So Vast

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from “Nova” by VNV Nation. All thanks goes to [raven_behind_the_writing_desk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/raven_behind_the_writing_desk) for their awesome beta!
> 
> I do not consent to my work being hosted on any unofficial apps, especially any with ad revenue and subscription services, or any website other than ao3 unless I personally cross-posted a work.

“I’m sorry sir,” the case agent says, frazzled, mutely radiating overwork and exhaustion. Not that Zabuza needs his gifts to tell him that. The bags under her eyes do that just as well. “Most sentinels in the military and police force, like you’ve preferenced, have asked not to be introduced to guides with children. They all say that they can’t risk their territorial drives shifting to such a personal--”

“Yes, yes, I know the territorial imperative bullshit, the same as you,” he snaps, then grimaces when she shuts down her emotional field and pastes on an obviously fake smile. He’s _never_ been a picture of nicety, so why _he_ woke up a fucking _guide_ while pretty, polite, little Haku turned out to be a latent sentinel when Zabuza took them to the Center for testing after finally gaining custody, Zabuza’ll never know. He _does_ know that it's made social interaction even more hellish than it already was.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to wait until you receive a communication from the Center to schedule another appointment with me. We will strive to keep you up to date about possible matches and our psionically shielded safe rooms are always open to you or your child day or night should either of you need one.” Her voice carries emotional markers of stress and hurt; kami, Zabuza wishes he wasn’t a guide. It was so much easier when he didn’t know how much him being a bastard hurt people.

“Thank you,” he says stiffly, clenching his teeth to hold back the rant that wants to form. It wouldn’t do any more good now than it did the first time he’d tried it.

Her smile softens and a little relief bleeds into the air, though it still carries the hurt from before. Zabuza tries not to grind his teeth, his dentist promised to call Haku the next time he came in with that much wear and tear. Mangetsu is a bitch but they were friends long before he ever got his degree so he gets more leeway than most. “Sir, I won’t stop looking. You and your sentinel deserve to find each other,” she whispers, looking around before she reaches out and pats his hand.

He’s not a touch sensitive and they both know it, but this week has been hard on his shields--that’s why he ended up here in the first place--and he gets a little jolt of her stress, anxiety, and tired sympathy for him. She winces sheepishly and retracts her hand.

“Thank you,” he says again, meaning it more this time, but he feels all the exhaustion his case agent won’t let herself give into and he wonders if he can get away with just going back home and crawling into bed.

Instead, he leaves the Center and heads straight for the café Haku works at. His kid probably isn’t on shift yet, but Zabuza had promised them that he’d tell Haku what happened as soon as possible.

It’s not quite cold just yet, only just November, but he still sees people starting to bundle up. Fire Country isn’t nearly as wet as Mist Country, but it does get colder sooner here than in most places.

He never thought he would miss the humid warmth of Mist, but homesickness strikes him at odd times. They’d left Mist for a better life, so that _Haku_ could have the opportunities that Zabuza never got, but Zabuza would go back in a heartbeat if he could.

A man--memorable with silver hair and an eyepatch, entirely bundled up with an eye searing orange scarf that looks like a child knit it--bumps into Zabuza on his way out of Tazuna’s Bridge, Haku’s café.

“Oh, sorry about that,” the man says, his voice muffled by the thick scarf. There’s no emotional field coming from him at all, which is unusual but a relief, and even when Zabuza has to steady himself on the stranger’s arm he only gets a flash of muted curiousity.

“It’s fine,” Zabuza says, his mind already going on to what he’s going to say to Haku and how to head off the inevitable lack of self esteem induced fight. “ _Excuse_ me,” he says, irritated to the point of snapping, when the stranger doesn’t move and instead lets his sharp, clever looking nose peek over the heavy scarf to take a long, deep breath.

“What’s a nice guide like you doing in a place like this?” the stranger says, burying himself into the thick scarf again as if they were in the depths of winter. Zabuza guesses that being a sentinel in a city like Wave can be hard on the nose, what with all the fish and industry. No other way for someone to know he’s a guide if they haven’t met. It’s not like he wears his status on his sleeve.

Still there’s no reason for such a terrible line.

He scowls, folding his arms across his chest. “Meeting my kid, what’s it to you, _sentinel_.” He puts as much scorn as possible into the last word, because this sentinel may be pretty but Zabuza couldn’t care less about looks.

The sentinel shrugs and rubs a loose end of the scarf between his fingers. Extra sensory data, probably. Zabuza wonders briefly what could be threatening a zone for the man, but then, it’s not really any of his business, is it?

Zabuza tries to think of a way to just push past the man without touching him. “Well, if that’s it--”

“My name is Kakashi,” he interrupts, looking like a tall, lanky brick wall.

“Zabuza,” he says, voice dipping into a growl.

Kakashi nods into his scarf and hunches over, looking away. “It was nice to meet you, Zabuza,” he says, his voice low and distracted. Zabuza is about to just chance it with his weirdly sensitive touch issues today when Kakashi steps to the side, no longer blocking the door, but still looking away, his eyepatch facing Zabuza.

Strange, Zabuza thought it took longer than the minute or so their stilted conversation actually took. Still, he’s not going to pass up the chance to get back to what he was doing. He may not be required to go back to the college today, but Haku only has so long they can take to talk.

Haku is wiping down a table close to the window--a place with great sightlines to the door and which is already sparkling clean, the nosy brat--when Zabuza comes in. They’re not even a little apologetic when Zabuza scowls at them; instead, Haku just gives him a sunny smile.

“He’s actually very nice, you know,” Haku says, going behind the counter. The café isn’t very busy, but Zabuza knows that it won’t stay that way. Tazuna’s Bridge is the most popular restaurant in the whole damn city, probably because Tazuna’s daughter and the current owner, Tsunami, cooks like a dream and is one of the few sentinel _and_ guide friendly restaurants, with psionically shielded backrooms and a variety of options for sensitive palates.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about,” Zabuza snaps, knowing that’s probably a lie but willing to be grouchy over it anyway. Haku is unfazed, and merely flips their loose top-knot-like bun with a little shake of their head.

“Hatake-san is a very loyal customer. Tsunami-san says that he’s one of the reasons she got to keep the restaurant after her father had to retire.” Zabuza isn’t surprised that that would be a plus for Haku. Tsunami didn’t _have_ to hire a sixteen year old with no job history and a lot of allergies, but she did. Even Zabuza is willing to admit that he owes Tsunami more than he can say. His job at the local college doesn’t pay nearly as well as he’d hoped, but he couldn’t leave Haku in that _place_ and Wave College was the best offer he had. “He brings his sons here sometimes.”

“Hnh. I knew that scarf was knitted by a kid,” he grumbles, frowning at the way Haku’s eyes crinkle knowingly.

“Naruto does like orange, and I think that Hatake-san hoped it would calm him down.” Haku radiates good humor like a damn sun for a moment, and Zabuza guesses that it didn’t work. He’s dealt with a lot of hyperactive kids, and usually the only thing that really works is exercise and a lot of it.

That’s not always an option, even though it worked for him when he was a kid. Zabuza could almost feel sorry for the poor bastard.

“He’s a sentinel, you know,” Haku says, apropos of absolutely nothing. Zabuza frowns at them.

“Good for him?” Zabuza says. “I know a sentinel when I see one, _you_ know.” Zabuza swears, if Haku is going to try to set him up Zabuza is going to be so fucking mad. He does _not_ Haku’s smiling assistance with his love life. Bad enough that the Center case agent has her nose all up in his business.

Haku shrugs, that calm, little smile that sends shivers down his spine firmly set in place. That smile that tells Zabuza that Haku is planning his life again, whether Zabuza likes it or not. “Of course you do, Zabuza,” Haku says, in the same voice they use with children and animals, it never fails to put Zabuza’s back up, “whatever you say.”

“Working in customer service has been terrible for your disposition,” he says, a distinct growl to his voice, and he frowns at them. Kubikiribouchou--Kubi for short, what can he say, Zabuza was going through a phase when he came online and the blue shark didn’t protest at all--appears and whaps him in the head with her tail.

It doesn’t _hurt_ , Kubi would have bit him if she wanted it to _hurt_ , but the slippery, ghostly feeling isn’t pleasant at all. “ _Ow_ ,” he says, grumpily, and Haku giggles. “Your species doesn’t even raise their young, what’s with the maternal instinct?”

“He never means it, Kubi, you know that,” Haku says, barely suppressing their laughter. The door wooshes open, barely making a sound beyond the wind blowing through the door, and Haku’s pager vibrates gently.

Well, that’s the end of that. “I’m going to swing by the college, they got some new equipment in today. Don’t work too hard,” he says, and Haku swings their head back to him and frowns. Zabuza doesn’t stop though, just ducks through the door, hand raised.

Saying goodbye to Haku--it doesn’t matter that it’s only for a few short hours, not the agonizing months it took for his petition of guardianship to go through after he turned eighteen and got kicked out--is never easy. Zabuza tries to do it as little as possible, but Haku is a growing kid and trying to ignore their right to some independence would make him no better than their shitbag foster parents.

He stands outside, a few business fronts down from the café, just breathing the crisp air. It’s cool enough that the humidity has mostly settled out of it, but even with the sun setting it’s still not cold.

The best time of year, in Zabuza’s opinion, although Haku is eagerly awaiting the imminent drop in temperature.

A kid--no older than ten, if that--races out of the business Zabuza has parked himself in front of, feeling like nothing else than pure mischief, and collides with his legs.

Zabuza looks up and sees ‘Eight Gates’ emblazoned across the sign in bold with ‘The Power of Youth’ scrawled in smaller letters beneath it. The window has a sign with hours and classes on it. Ugh, a dojo. Of course such a swanky neighborhood would have one, and Zabuza can just bet that the ‘Sensei’ has little to no idea how to _really_ fight.

“You smell like that pretty waitress!” the kid yells, grinning wide, his blond hair sticking up all over the place like he’s just been roughed up.

 _Ugh_ , a baby sentinel. All the nosiness of the adult version with absolutely none of the discretion.

A little girl with strawberry blonde hair that shines pink in the sun slaps the other kid upside the head like Kubi does to Zabuza. “Haku is a _server_ , not a waitress, dumb-dumb.”

“I don’t get it, what’s the difference?” the boy whines, rubbing his head.

“ _Waitress_ is for girls, _server_ is ‘gender neutral’,” the girls says, patronizingly, she even does the finger quotes, and if that wasn’t enough to tell Zabuza she’s repeating what someone else told her she continues, “That’s what my mom says.” Which means she probably did it once too and got scolded for it, not that the boy seems to realize that.

It gives him hope that not all parents are trash. Good. Haku deserves better. Zabuza will make sure they get it.

“Oh. That’s dumb, why are there so many words, then? Why can’t we just all use one word?” the boy says and pouts.

“ _You’re_ dumb,” says yet another kid, this one with jet-black hair. If Zabuza didn’t already know that Wave was a port town, he’d know it by now. So many different types of people, all living together. “Gai-sensei is almost done with Lee, and your evaluation is next,” this new one says to the blond who wails.

“Nooo! I want to keep my orange belt _forever_!” Zabuza wonders for a moment if this is Naruto, Kakashi’s kid that Haku was talking about.

If so, what kind of sentinel would put their sentinel kid in some gentrified dojo rather than the classes at the Center; which are generally taught by people with actual experience?

“ _Dumbass_ ,” the black haired kid says, trying to be venomous but mostly sounding harassed and feeling like it too, “Kakashi told me to make sure you behaved today.”

“Dad told you not to call me that!”

“Then you should stop being one,” the little girl chimes in, all sweetness and light edged in vicious, petty sadism. Zabuza thanks whatever god is out there everyday that he got Haku, who, even when they were very young, was always patient, calm, and most of all, _quiet_.

A little red fox kit appears next to Naruto and starts gekkering in an annoying counterpoint to the kid’s wailing. A woman across the street broadcasts disapproval and stares straight at Zabuza with her mouth pressed into a thin line like any of these kids are his responsibility.

He rolls his eyes at her and she huffs and stomps away.

Kubi pops into existence next to him, solid enough this time for him to feel the ghostly, roughness of her skin when she floats closer to the kid, pressing up against him the entire length of her flank.

The little girl screams, the black-haired kid goes stone-faced but starts throwing out fear like it’s going out of style, and Naruto doesn’t notice until Kubi noses the little fox kit.

“No! Don’t eat my Kyuubi, no!” he screams and Zabuza is just done.

“Right,” he says, snarling. He ignores the intensified screaming when Kyuubi hops onto Kubi’s flat head, tail waving--if she didn’t want the other spirit guide to do that, it wouldn’t do it but kids don’t always know that and neither do mundanes--and instead tries to herd the pack of animals that someone mistook for children through the door without touching them.

Someone--a bonded guide, definitely, Zabuza couldn’t manage that in a million years without a bond--sends waves of calm and protection through the door and the kids stop screaming and radiating fear and start grumbling about superheroes and villains.

The door opens and, okay, maybe Zabuza was wrong about _this_ dojo. The other guide looks like Bruce Lee and the Rock had a giant baby, then raised him to do commercials for dentists. Zabuza doesn’t often feel attracted to guides but… wow.

A blinding smile is turned Zabuza’s way and the man winks. Zabuza goes bright red and stops broadcasting his every emotion faster than he’s been able to in a while. The man laughs. “Hello! My name is Gai, thank you for corralling my precious, youthful students!”

Zabuza is still kind of dazed by Gai’s… everything, so he just barely manages an “Uh huh” before Kubi slams into the small of his back with her blunt nose. Gai laughs again.

“My friend! What can I do for you today? I’m afraid I cannot take any new students on until next month but you also do not look as though you require my assistance in protecting yourself!” Gai has the sort of booming voice that makes the boot camp in Zabuza want to stand up straight and salute, but empathetically he feels more like Haku--a damn sun of good feelings and calm.

“No, I mean,” he almost stutters, Gai reminds him too much of Kisame and that’s probably half the reason he’s so thrown off. Zabuza sucks in a deep breath and pushes all thoughts of his ex aside. “I coach mma at Wave College, I can handle myself. I was just returning your kids. They bumped into me outside.”

“Ah, yes, I have heard of you! My beloved Aoba was telling me about you. He said you also teach classes on sword-fighting and smithing?” Aoba… Gai must be talking about the head of the minuscule psych department, Yamashiro. Zabuza didn’t realize he was a sentinel.

“Yeah, finally got the budget for it last semester.” He’d hoped for an increase in pay as well but things don’t always go as planned. At least now some of the kids he teaches will have a trade rather than just relying on their bodies to be able to carry them through life.

“That is good to hear!” Gai’s enthusiasm is infectious, probably the reason he has a pack of kids milling around, all of them in the same kind of uniform with varying colors of belts and none of them really misbehaving. They must like it here.

Naruto darts out from the crowd of his friends, chasing Kyuubi who disappears with a mischievous flick of its tail. “Why don’t you teach at the Center?” Zabuza wasn’t and isn’t always a fan of the Center, but they went to bat for him over Haku’s guardianship--at a time when he was expecting to have to kidnap the kid and go on the run--so he maybe has a bit more _reason_ to be loyal to them than most.

Gai booms out another laugh. “I do, my friend! But the Center does not have many children to teach so I offer my skills to whoever wishes here, to further the blossoms of tomorrow! My dear comrade helped me buy this place, and I run his private security business with him when I am not teaching. He has a business partner, a teacher for his sons, and a dear friend in me!” Gai laughs again, but this time it’s low and warm. “Truly I have gotten the better end of that deal.”

Zabuza isn’t envious of Gai, but he does wonder if he’ll ever get to that point in his life. He’s still young, he knows--only twenty-seven--with his whole life spread out before him.

But the road to get here was so hard, so often hopeless, that even though it isn’t like that here, hasn’t been like that since they moved to Wave two years ago, he’s still not sure he’ll ever get there.

He chats with Gai for a few more minutes but his heart isn’t in it anymore and he still has to go down to the college.

* * *

Kakashi gets home and slumps against the door, shaking. Pakkun appears, mincing in a circle a few times before settling in a tight donut with a ‘you’re being stupid’ look. The rest of his dogs--well-trained, even if they can’t do the type of work they initially trained for, they’re good dogs and the hospital that he volunteers at sometimes is always happy to see them--stare at him from the doorway, tails thumping loudly but waiting for the signal that they can approach.

It’s been years since Kakashi last thought about meeting _his_ guide, since he last thought about having a bond. He’s pretty sure it was more than eight years ago, before he lost his eye and his depth perception and the career that he was sure he would want to stay in for much longer.

Staying in special recon wasn’t something he could have done _forever_ , but the Air Force in general?

He could have done that for a long, long time.

But then, would he have Naruto, Sasuke, his dogs? Would he have met Zabuza at all? How long would Tsume have run White Fang Securities before she either bought him out--because he hadn’t cared about it until he was twenty-five, jobless, and blind in one eye--or sold off her share to someone who wouldn’t have _cared_ as much.

White Fang isn’t the only thing that Kakashi has of Sakumo, but it’s the thing that means the most. It’s the reason that he could land on his feet after his medical discharge, the reason he could adopt Naruto when Minato died--only a year after Minato took a desk promotion so he could stay home with his wife, make a family, and he _dies_ in a fucking car accident right after getting everything he ever wanted--and the reason he could be there for Sasuke.

As much as Kakashi hated his father throughout his early twenties, he really wouldn’t have the life he does now without him.

Gai probably wouldn’t have his dojo--at least not in the best part of town--and Yamato wouldn’t get to boss around literally everyone so Kakashi doesn’t have to.

Kakashi probably would never have walked out of Tsunami’s cafe and right into his guide. Would the cafe even still exist without that loan?

He feels nauseous, his head full of too many what-ifs. Pakkun lifts his head and huffs at Kakashi, snorting wetly until he pays more attention to his demanding, pug spirit guide and less to questioning his entire life. Kakashi slides down to the ground to sit with Pakkun. At least he feels less like he’s going to throw up, petting his spirit guide; which, of course, leads to him petting all the dogs while sitting in his doorway.

Gai will occupy Naruto and Sasuke until at least dinner, so at least his kids won’t walk in on him freaking out. (And he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure they _never_ walk in and see Kakashi like Kakashi found Sakumo, the very day after his high school graduation, one _single_ night after he was standing so proud and happy in the stands while Kakashi got his diploma. Kakashi hadn’t even _thought_ about therapy until the doctors put Naruto in his arms, told him that Minato and Kushina died instantly, that they felt no pain. The very next day, he was calling the Center for recommendations on mind healers.)

Bull licks a wide, _wet_ stripe up his face and slobbers all over his shoulder. Kakashi grimaces, but scratches the mastiff behind the ear. At least he doesn’t have to wear this orange scarf for a few days, much as he loves it. The first one Naruto ever made.

Kakashi will have to go to the Center soon. Put in a courting application for Zabuza.

That’s what sentinels do, right? When they find a guide that calls to their senses like that?

Sentinels recognize a potential partner physically, and guides recognize them emotionally. It’s been that way ever since there _was_ a way for it to be.

So, the courting process. A bond is a two way street, so if Zabuza and Kakashi don’t… don’t _work_ , there could be others. Gai’s sentinel had gone through the courting process three different times before finding Gai: a guide who doesn’t _need_ a constant companion, who is willing to let his sentinel float in and out of his life as needed, and comes as a packaged deal with his mundane husband. The three of them just _work_ , and Kakashi never realized how jealous he was of that before; now that a possible partner is within his grasp.

But, for now, Kakashi has to pick himself up off the floor and start dinner.

* * *

The moment Zabuza gets to the sturdy out-building old-man Sarutobi let him put a teaching forge in, his shoulders relax and Kubi swishes out of sight.

He’s been having a tougher day than he thought. Should have guessed that when Kubi stayed so long, but, well, Zabuza knows he’s a stubborn son of a bitch.

There’s no one lingering around--today is a game day, soccer, if he remembers correctly, so there wouldn’t be--but there is a box sitting on his pocked and burnt desk, just like Iruka said it would be. A new sander--only one, but at least now he doesn’t _have to_ make the kids do it by hand--and signed permission to start teaching knife-making provided the students don’t get them back until after the semester is over and they get sent out in the mail. No handovers on campus, no weapons outside of his classroom except to and from transportation, yadda, yadda, yadda. A new stack of waivers sits precariously on what little room is left of his desk.

At this rate, Zabuza might as well just assign an essay, these kids have done so much writing for his class.

He manages some paperwork, grades a few projects, but mostly he just basks in being alone.

The forge isn’t psionically shielded--there’s only one building that is, the one housing Sentinel and Guide studies, all the way across campus--but it’s so far away from everything else that it might as well be when it’s empty.

A tough day, and promising to be an even tougher night. He never did manage to tell Haku how it went with the Center.

Zabuza groans and rubs his face with his hand.

It isn’t as though Zabuza doesn’t know _why_ Haku takes his failures to find a sentinel so personally, even if it is bullshit and not their fault at all despite the circumstances. Zabuza would have come online eventually, anyway, no matter what that dumbass Yagura said at the time.

Yes, the stress of being blocked at every turn trying to rescue Haku from their shitbag foster parents brought Zabuza online, but honestly he wouldn’t change a thing. The Center would have never gotten involved if he hadn’t and Zabuza isn’t stupid.

Without the Center, he would never have gotten Haku out of there. They would probably have died in that house, no matter what kind of brave face they put on.

So it doesn’t matter that getting Haku out of there meant he came online--complete with bond yearning and getting a technicolor, surround-sound look into when he’s being too much of an asshole, there went his favorite hobby--and gave those shitbags a reason to throw their money and influence around, make it so that even with Center support no one in Kiri would hire him, not even the military.

Zabuza got Haku and that’s all he cares about.

Haku, on the other hand, feels guilty about it all no matter what Zabuza says. They mope around for days whenever he gets rejected: it doesn’t help that the reason is normally that Zabuza has a kid.

The Center knows, Zabuza knows--hell, most of the time even the sentinels rejecting him out of hand know--that that ‘territorial imperative’ garbage is just antiquated bullshit with no basis in fact. Doesn’t change the stigma around it, especially in fields like police force and military. A cultural thing, in a largely insular community.

If Zabuza didn’t want to make sure no other kid on this goddamn planet grew up in an abusive home when he could prevent it, he’d have given up years ago.

As it is, he’s only getting into either field as a guide to a sentinel, what with his reputation. Followed him all the way from Kiri, like a bad penny. Life sucks, and all that.

He might as well get it over with. No sense in being a coward who doesn’t want to go home and face his own sort of kid, sort of sibling.

It’s just past sunset when Zabuza locks up the forge, in that time of day where it’s not _dark_ but the sun isn’t shining either, the moon isn’t up yet, and everything just feels quiet. During the day, it had been crisp but manageable--perfect weather to go walking around town, or, Zabuza supposes, go for a hike if he wasn’t a thoroughly _urban_ sort of guide--but without the sun the temperature takes a dip into getting-to-very-cold-here-soon and Zabuza inexplicably thinks of that sentinel he ran into earlier.

Kakashi--he’s pretty sure that was his name, although whoever _did_ name him was having some kind of fun and probably shouldn’t be in charge of any other kids’ names--all bundled up with a warm, thick, eye-searing scarf. Zabuza would love a scarf like that right about now.

Kami, if he ever makes the mistake of mentioning that to Haku, he’s sure to get one, only it’ll probably have something like _flowers_ or _cow print_. All the rage in Kiri still, according to the fashion magazines Haku leaves lying around the house, but Zabuza learned his lesson on letting them actually pick out his clothes, ever.

The cow print cargo pants are still languishing in the forbidden corner of his closet, biding their time until laundry day, and Haku was never allowed to give clothes as presents ever again.

Walking to the bus stop from the learning forge doesn’t take long, but the cold makes it seem longer, so when someone calls out, “Momochi!” from behind him, Zabuza almost doesn’t want to stop.

But outright rudeness always accompanies hurt feelings and Zabuza just can’t take that on top of everything else today, so he stops and waits the precious, _freezing_ seconds for the other person to catch up.

He should have guessed it would be Yamashiro--he recognizes the weirdly tufted hair and the thin oval glasses when the man gets closer--Gai seems like the kind of person who immediately tells their spouse anything even remotely interesting that went on that day, almost as soon as it happens, but Zabuza thought that he would at least have a day or two before being ambushed.

No such luck.

“I heard you met Gai and his little hellions today,” Yamashiro confirms, puffing out a little cloud on a laugh. “Gai said that you did good with them, he can’t say that about a lot of people.”

Zabuza snorts, and doesn’t have to wonder why. “It was only for a few minutes, hard to mess up,” he says, though, because it’s true. Haku is the best kid he could have asked for, and even with them he wants to throw them out the window nine times out of ten. That he hasn’t yet, says something about his patience that no one who ever met him when _he_ was a kid would have ever guessed in a million years.

“Still,” Yamashiro says, glancing at him behind the rims of his glasses, and something niggles at Zabuza. He’s getting the feeling that he made a wrong assumption about _something_ , although about what, he’s not quite sure yet. “Those kids are uniquely talented at getting into trouble and setting off tempers. And kami knows Kakashi spoils his two rotten, and their best friend too, whenever she’s in reach.”

“They didn’t seem that spoiled to me,” he says, and he’s seen his share. Just because Zabuza was a charity case they kept around until he got too wild to intimidate or handle, doesn’t mean the shitbags didn’t make every public appearance possible with him until they got their claws in Haku, who was much better at it.

Yamashiro laughs, and Zabuza wishes he at least had a coat, but when he woke up this morning, he wasn’t planning on being out nearly as long as he has been. “I guess I’m being too hard on him. It can’t be easy raising two kids by himself, let alone an online sentinel kid and a traumatized kid. They’re mostly sweet, even if they’re a little much.”

There’s that twinge, that jiggle of awareness, again and Zabuza finally realizes what he’s been missing. “I thought… when Gai mentioned his husband I thought you were a sentinel,” he says, practically blurting it out. He doesn’t wince at how awkward it is, but he almost wants to.

“Wow,” Yamashiro says, snorting, although luckily he doesn’t feel all that insulted. “That’s the most direct steamroll into that topic I’ve ever gotten. No, I’m not, we were married before he came online, and when he did… well we did what married couples who love each other should do when something that big comes up. We went to a therapist.”

“He’s bonded,” Zabuza says, stating the very, very obvious, but still kind of dumbstruck at the thought. He knows that triads happen, but he’s pretty sure that it’s not in him to share like that. Maybe, if it was the right people, but even then Zabuza knows he’s a possessive son of a bitch and that jealousy is one of his worst flaws.

“Yeah, and it took a long time to get to the point where I was okay with that.” Yamashiro waves a hand. They’re at the bus-stop but it’s cold and Zabuza still has at least another fifteen minutes before it comes, at this time of night. “I’ll drive you,” he says, and Zabuza feels a wave of relief, and a tickle of irritation that he has to choose between freezing and waiting for the bus or hitching a ride with a near-stranger, “tell you all the sordid details. Maybe we can swap.”

“Sure,” Zabuza pushes away the irritation, it’s stupid and he’s not going to let his pride find him sitting in the cold for who knows how long. “Thanks.” Thankfully, Yamashiro’s car isn’t far and has an excellent heater.

“No problem, man, you’re stuck with us. Gai met you and liked you, so you should probably get used to being practically family.” Yamashiro’s smile is sharp and sarcastic, but Zabuza can feel that he means it, and maybe the college isn’t that bad. Better than the mma guild that didn’t even stand up for him when they passed those regulations on guides, and way, way better than the corrupt fuckers on the Kiri police force.

“Don’t expect me to cook, Haku’s the only one who knows how to work the kitchen,” he says instead, and Yamashiro laughs.

“Right, same,” he says, and Zabuza inputs his apartment address into his phone’s gps. “Uhhh… where was I, oh, right, so well after a few dozen sessions with our therapist, she tells us about triad bonds, because Gai isn’t the kind of guide who can get by without a bond, and neither of us really wanted to get a divorce. I said that that sounds better than anything else we’ve come up with, and Gai took some more convincing but he got there too. And while Gai needs a bond, he doesn’t need a lot of maintenance, so when this detective from Kiri who needed a bond but wasn’t in a place where he wanted a guide there all the time was brought to Tsunade’s attention, well, things kind of just fell into place.”

Yamashiro name dropping the Alpha Sentinel Prime of all of Fire Country’s Centers is a surprise and if Zabuza was drinking anything he’d be choking on it. Word is that she was born in Wave, so maybe that’s why, but it definitely wasn’t something Zabuza ever suspected. And he thought having Mei go to bat for him and Haku back then was cool.

“So yeah, we vacation in Kiri every couple of months, see Kisame,” this time Zabuza actually does choke, and he feels weirdly lightheaded, Yamashiro sends him a look that Zabuza doesn’t even need his gifts to tell him that he thinks Zabuza is being strange and suspicious, “and do some surfing, shore up the bond, stuff like that.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s… I’m happy for you. All of you.” A long time ago Zabuza would have been mad enough to breathe actual fire, but he and Kisame were never going to work out and he doesn’t hate the man. The only decent cop on the force at the time, and word is that he’s turned the place around in the years since. Stuck his neck out a bit for the trainee who got in over his head, even after they knew they weren’t anything close to psionically compatible despite their spirit guides.

“Ah,” Yamashiro says and then blushes bright red. “Kisame did mention that he’d had a few courtings fall through. He never told us any names, though.”

“He’s like that. Laid-back. Not very interested in romance and dating, though he was a good friend at a time when I needed one,” Zabuza says, probably revealing more than he normally would. But it’s been a long time since he’s had anything like a friend--Haku doesn’t actually count, seeing as Zabuza is legally responsible for them--and Kisame always had good taste in friends. Zabuza can’t see him having worse taste in bond partners. “Hot as hell, too,” he adds, as an afterthought.

Yamashiro sputters, embarrassment flaring up until it’s pretty much all Zabuza can get from the man, but then he laughs out a reluctant agreement and everything is fine.

* * *

Zabuza hears the click of the lock--muted, and different from the ragged apartments that he had to take when there wasn’t a Center nearby, or before he came online, and how the hell they manage that little sound coming from it he doesn’t know--before he’s even fully out of the tiny hallway and into the kitchen.

“Hey kid,” he says and opens the fridge. He never expects Haku to make food when they work--never expects it at all, really, it’s just a nice thing to have once in a while considering Zabuza can and has burnt water, cooking is beyond him--and heating up a frozen meal isn’t impossible for him. They both need to eat, and luckily they only have to accommodate one person’s allergies. As long as they stick to fair trade coffee, chocolate, and fruit, Zabuza is in the clear.

“Zabuza, you didn’t stay very long at the café,” Haku says, sounding and feeling a bit disappointed. They hang up their coat and scarf--Haku always checks the weather, but never tells Zabuza, he’s pretty sure it’s a long-term plot on their behalf--and shakes out the wrinkles in their long, floral skirt.

“Sorry,” and he is, he really is. Normally he would have stayed an hour or two despite the busy time and drank a bit of coffee or ate a late lunch. Tsunami rarely minds much, and while Zabuza usually can’t speak to Haku for more than a minute, it’s better.

“Did it go that bad?” Haku asks, still tinged with disappointment, but also a bit of guilt now. And of course they would know why Zabuza’s been off all day. They’re not a sentinel yet, maybe they’ll never be, but Haku doesn’t need super senses to tell when Zabuza’s upset.

And, yeah, he may be a _little_ upset.

“I just got too impatient, shouldn’t have gone,” he says, gruff. It won’t fool Haku but maybe he can fool himself.

Haku sighs, and he can see them at the rickety old table that barely fits the both of them as well as their plates letting their hair down, the pins scattered across the battered and stained wood. “Hey, kid, don’t lose those out here again, I nearly impaled my foot on one last time.”

“I’ll count them, don’t worry.” Haku runs their fingers through their stupidly long hair--Zabuza’s never seen the appeal, but it makes them happy so he’ll continue to shell out for ridiculous amounts of hair products--and starts to braid. The pot clatters at him, and he turns back to the stove, frowning. When in doubt, stir, so he grabs a spoon. “Um, are you still limiting your search parameters by career?” Haku asks softly, emotions faint enough that Zabuza can’t really read them and a sure sign that they’re trying to suppress them.

He sighs, closing his eyes. He _really_ didn’t want to talk about this. “Yeah.”

“Oh.” Voice still soft, emotions still muted, and Zabuza wants to snarl. He’s told Haku so many times that it has nothing to do with them, that he wouldn’t want someone like that anyway, but it never makes it through to the kid. “Um,” they start, then pause for long enough that Zabuza is almost hopeful they’ve dropped it. “Maybe it’s time to widen the search a little bit?”

If Zabuza was going to do that, he would have done it a long time ago. Why stop being a stubborn bastard about it now? “Haku, dinner’s ready,” he says instead, dishing out the tarako spaghetti into the bowls and sticking a pair of chopsticks into each of them.

“Thank you,” they mutter and sweep the pins into their hand, going to the bathroom. Zabuza can almost hear them counting--although, he can’t actually _hear_ Haku count the pins, and just barely gets an impression of intense focus, the shielding in this apartment is really, really good, he’ll be sad to leave it if they have to move--and snorts when Haku storms back out radiating irritation before grabbing the remaining pin off the floor and going back.

Zabuza shovels food into his mouth--he forgot how hungry he was, but he really hasn’t eaten since before his Center appointment--and Haku turns up their nose when they come out of the bathroom, glaring at him as much as they ever do. Nothing gets Haku in a snit like poor table manners, so even though he smirks at them, Zabuza slows down.

“Oh, _tarako spaghetti_!” Happiness breaks through their muted emotions, and they smile brightly. Zabuza tries not to feel too smug about it, but with Haku again radiating happiness, it’s hard not to.

* * *

“What do you mean, ‘I can’t release that information’?” Kakashi wishes his dogs were here, at least one of them. Pakkun doesn’t count. Not really. He’s not physically present enough to count. Bull, Bull is nice to hug, or Bisuke is easy to pick up. He shoves his nose in yet another of Naruto’s scarves--maybe someday he’ll get something from Sasuke, but Kakashi isn’t holding out for it--and breathes in deep. “Is he already bonded?” That’s the only reason Kakashi can think of for not wanting to be informed of a match.

It also burns like grief in the back of his throat, but he won’t come between a guide and their sentinel no matter how perfect a potential match may feel.

The woman shifts a little in her seat and looks away. She has dark circles under her eyes, her hair is frizzy, and the roots are showing. Kakashi tries to think how much extra money he has this month and resolves to call his accountant for another donation to the Center. They shouldn’t have anyone overworked like this, though of course it might just be a quirk of this girl, Katou Shizune the nameplate on her desk reads. “Listen, Hatake-san, I’m sorry. But this is a request on the part of the guide and I can’t disclose the reasons for it.”

Kakashi hasn’t met a single guide that calls to him like Zabuza does since his entire section died and he lost his best friend and temporary guide as well as his eye and entire career path.

He doesn’t want to be alone forever, he realized that when he bumped into a scowling, intimidating, rough but sexy guide and practically forgot how to speak. He wants more than just friends, kids, dogs, and business partners. Kakashi wants a _partner_ and he thought he’d finally found someone who could be that for him. “Okay,” he forces himself to say, trying to make it actually _be_ okay.

Shizune closes her eyes, and the sharp smell of guilt makes Kakashi burrow his nose back into the scarf, which only smells like wool, lanolin, a touch of vinegar, a bit of carrots, and mostly _Naruto_. “Hey, I’m sorry. Next time he comes in, I’ll try and get him to see you, no promises though,” she says, trying to sound soothing but mostly unable to hide the stress tones in her voice and body from a sentinel. He still appreciates the thought.

“…thank you,” he says, and he knows it’s probably not really loud enough to be heard from behind his scarf, but he’s having a hard time caring about that.

The implicit rejection, sight unseen, feels like someone dug a rusty spoon into Kakashi’s chest, almost as bad as feeling Obito die and that temp bond that they had shatter like spun sugar.

She shuffles some papers on her desk, black eyes shifting nervously from side to side. Her heart rate’s up, and Kakashi knows if he was to stop using the scarf as a block for all the terrible smells in the world she’d probably smell nervous too. “Listen, there’s some gossip that he likes to spend time in Tazuna’s Bridge? Maybe you should try there, especially when Haku is working.” She winks, sitting back in her chair and starts to sign things, eyes flicking quickly over her paperwork.

Kakashi doesn’t bother to say goodbye.

Aside from not wanting to distract Shizune any more than he already did, he’s a bit lost in thought.

Tazuna’s Bridge is a great place and he already spends a lot of time there. He’s met Haku once or twice too, although normally they’re working afternoons and nights after school and he generally goes in the mornings. Gai sometimes takes Naruto and Sasuke there after his classes, generally on the rare occasion that Kakashi is stuck in the office with Yamato breathing over his shoulder, and kami knows that Naruto won’t shut up about Haku.

He’d be worried about a crush if Naruto wasn’t so adorably dense about that kind of thing.

With all that, how is it that Kakashi has only _now_ met Zabuza? Is the man a night owl, mostly going later at night? Or is it a more recent thing?

Zabuza had said he was meeting his kid, when Kakashi ran into him and stumbled through a train-wreck of a conversation. He didn’t look old enough to have a kid that could ‘meet’ him there, unless, maybe he was meeting the kid and the other parent?

Kakashi is pretty sure Zabuza isn’t bonded, most of the time he can smell that kind of thing, and he doubts he’d be so attracted to Zabuza if he was bonded. But sometimes situations like Gai’s crop up and that’s… also not ideal.

Gai, Aoba, and Kisame managed to work it out, though, so maybe Kakashi just needs to do some soul-searching. Figure out how he could share his guide with someone else. If Zabuza even wants to be his guide.

Well, it looks like Kakashi is going to spend some afternoons in Tazuna’s Bridge for the foreseeable future. At least Naruto will be happy. He’ll have to bribe Sasuke with a bunch of tomatoes, though; hopefully the acid doesn’t do terrible things to his teeth.

Honestly, Kakashi doesn’t even want to convince Zabuza one way or the other. Really, he just wants to _know_ , so that he doesn’t have to guess what it is.

He learned a long time ago that whatever he ends up guessing is usually worse than what is actually happens--except for one or two instances, the worst of which was Sasuke’s home after the break-in four years ago and the best is raising Naruto--so just having some _certainty_ , however that works out, will help him try to get over this.

And he will get over it, if Zabuza doesn’t want a bond. It happens. And if Zabuza doesn’t want a bond, then they wouldn’t be able to achieve a bond anyway.

His feet take him to Tazuna’s Bridge, without Kakashi really wanting to start this thing that’s he’s not even entirely sure that he wants to do still, today. The windows are open and lovely--as they ever are, unless the weather is bad--with the gauzy, floral curtains bellowing in from the breeze.

Haku is pouring someone tea, smiling as they normally do, and he can hear Tsunami in the kitchen muttering to herself over what smells like the signature fish dinner. Kakashi wants to go in, wants Shizune to be right in the gossip she shared, but he also doesn’t.

Change is terrifying, and already Kakashi is thinking of changing his entire life, his and his kids' whole schedule all around this person that he’s not even sure will be there for the aftermath. All around a _chance_ of having some small interaction with someone who doesn’t even want to be contacted by him through the proper channels.

He shouldn’t be here.

Gai’s dojo isn’t far, and Kakashi turns to go there instead, maybe actually talk to him about it like his therapist would absolutely love for him to do.

“Oh, Hatake-san!” Haku calls, standing in the doorway waving a bit. “Do you need a table?”

No, he doesn’t, he had already decided to go to Gai’s, he was going to stop this stupid trainwreck in its’ tracks before he did something he’d regret--or, worse, something that would hurt Naruto and Sasuke--but his mouth opens and he says, “Yes, please, thank you.”

Haku balances a tray in one hand and holds the door open with the other and Kakashi just has to slink in because the only other option is to completely ignore Haku and they don’t deserve that. They’re sweet, and young, and clearly they’re working for a reason. Kakashi tips well, and Tsunami pays even better. Even if Haku wasn’t as amazing a server as they are, they would be worth it.

“I’m glad you came by today, actually,” Haku says, clearing off Kakashi’s favorite table, the one in the corner with nothing behind the wall except the neighbor’s wall. No good views, but Kakashi has never needed help with that. Turning up his vision has never been difficult, even after losing an eye, and the only problem since has been determining distance, even if his sentinel gifts compensate for that somewhat.

“Oh?” Haku practically exudes calm and serenity, even Kakashi can feel it and he’s not even a guide. He can only imagine how they would feel to a _guide_.

“Hmm, yeah,” Haku says, picking their tray back up from the bench. “Your usual today?”

“Maaah …yes, thank you,” Kakashi says, hunching over. The allergies are the worst part of being a sentinel, and he really, really misses the terribly spicy crap that Obito used to force on him and Rin before Kakashi came online. Haku hums and turns, with no word as to why they were happy to see him.

Tsunami mutters angrily in the kitchen, no doubt because Haku just put Kakashi’s ticket in the window, and Kakashi tries not to bolt out the door.

“Hatake-san, your tea?” Haku sets the pot down with a cup following soon after, and their eyes dart around the café before they smile at him. “You met Zabuza yesterday, I noticed.”

The urge to run out the door and lock himself in his house with his dogs intensifies tenfold. “We did bump into each other briefly.” He’s pretty sure that bumping into someone for less than five minutes shouldn’t threaten the entire foundation of his life.

Haku laughs a bit, barely more than a smile and a huff of breath, and says, “he’s a guide, you know.”

Kakashi wishes he didn’t. “Mmm,” he says, noncommittally.

They sigh, and glance around again. There’s a table with an empty glass sitting on the end. Haku twists the pen stuck on their apron then leans in. “Zabuza is very stubborn but you shouldn’t give up on him,” they whisper before going to the table.

He wonders exactly what Haku knows. Tsunami is fairly sure they’re some kind of latent, but it’s not really either of their business unless Haku actually comes online or tells them. He doesn’t want to give into the little bit of hope that what Haku says is actually true. Kakashi doesn’t want to chase that hope and hurt his family in the process, and he’s pretty sure that is what is going to happen.

The tea is lukewarm by the time Kakashi gets to it, but he drinks it anyway.

* * *

Zabuza can’t get Haku’s question out of his head.

It’s been a week, and he’s basically thrown himself into work to avoid thinking about allowing contact from more than just sentinel cops and military. Visits to Tazuna’s Bridge are normally short and mostly consist of picking Haku up at the end of the night along with whatever leftovers Tsunami tries to foist on them. His days are all filled with the sounds of the forge, going through sword forms, and trying to keep his dumb-ass athletes from giving each other concussions in _training_.

He doesn’t have to be busy, and normally he wouldn’t be, but Haku is the most irritatingly astute person he knows and the kid isn’t even a sentinel yet.

Thing is, Zabuza knows by now that he won’t get a second look from any of the sentinels on the force, and Utakata made sure that Zabuza’s profile was sent to every major military installation before he ever left Kiri; even the ones in allied nations.

(Zabuza supposes he _could_ go to Iwa or Ame and see if there’s anyone for him _there_ but to be perfectly frank, the idea of going to an enemy--even if there is tense peace and has been since before he was born--of Kiri makes him break out into metaphorical hives. _Especially_ , the thought of joining their military. And that’s not even considering Haku, who has been dragged around enough in their life and deserves to settle somewhere nice.

Wave is quiet, not a hotbed of sentinels and guides, not like the capital city of Konoha--even though more and more of them are emigrating, or so Tsunami tells Haku who tells him--and has a lot of Kiri expats. It’s almost like home, probably _could_ be a home if he gave it a chance, and Haku certainly likes it better than their stint in Tanzaku.

Why he thought either of them would be at all happy in a land-locked, gambling town, he’ll never know, but at least one good thing came out of those stupid, bigoted regulations.)

The only hope that Zabuza has is some young gun coming online and being willing to take a chance on upsetting the entire status quo for someone they’ve never met. He _knows_ that.

But no one ever said that Zabuza was going to be at all rational about it.

He’s wanted to protect people basically his entire life. Be like Kuriarare--who was a grumpy son of a bitch, but always had time for young, stupid Zabuza, who was angry at the world and everyone in it but Haku, and who taught him sword fighting and smithing in the hopes of calming him down just a little bit--that tough old drill sergeant who presided over Zabuza’s years in boot camp.

Be like Kisame--which was one of the reasons Zabuza knew they weren’t compatible, hero worship never did a thing for equal relationships--who took a jagged, bull-headed weapon of a just barely adult and pushed Zabuza through the police academy and then fought like hell to keep him when it looked like his shitbag foster parents’ drummed up bullshit was going to work. By all accounts, Kisame’s razed the Kiri police force to the ground when Zabuza left to keep anything even remotely similar from happening again.

Most of all, though, Zabuza wanted to make sure that nothing like what happened to Haku and him ever happens to anyone again.

Giving up on that? It feels like Zabuza is giving up on a whole lot more than just a dream job.

Though… Zabuza has the longing, and more than just biology, he wants a partner. He loves Haku, but the kid is almost seventeen now, and Zabuza kind of misses the way they used to need him, and he’s thought about adopting again, but the timing never turns out right. The timing, and it was… difficult raising Haku by himself. Zabuza wouldn’t want to do that to any kid if he has a choice in the matter.

Zabuza wasn’t lying to Haku when he said that he wouldn’t want a sentinel who didn’t want kids. Because even though Haku can mostly take care of themselves now, Zabuza would want to adopt another kid if he got himself a sentinel. Give Haku a sibling, give this hypothetical kid a good home, give Zabuza someone else to gruffly take care of. They all win.

But that’s all hypotheticals. In over nine years, it’s never even come close to happening, and Zabuza is almost used to it by now. Is opening himself up to disappointment and change really the best way to go about it?

Aoba knocks on his open door, grinning in the doorway to Zabuza’s dark, cluttered office. “Hey, there you are.”

“It’s office hours, where else would I be?” Not that many of his students come to him during office hours. They normally wait to ambush him in the gym. The bookshelves might eat them otherwise.

Which, okay, isn’t fair to most of them--Sarutobi makes sure the gpa requirements for sports participation are pretty high--but that’s certainly the way it _feels_ whenever he gets ambushed in the gym.

“True,” Aoba says, snorting, probably because the ridiculously fast and efficient gossip mill already told him about said ambushes. “Kisame is flying in, apparently he got some leave and wanted to come spend time in Wave. We’re having a big dinner on Friday to celebrate and Gai wanted me to invite you.”

A dinner, in two days, with his ex, his ex’s guide, his ex’s guide’s husband, and who knows how many of their friends. Zabuza chokes on a laugh. “Sure, can I bring Haku?”

“Your kid?” Aoba waves a hand, grinning. “Yeah, the more the merrier. Gai’s best friend is already bringing his two little terrors and their little best friend may end up following them. And let’s not even mention the fact that Gai would adopt Lee and practically already has if the kid didn’t already belong to someone else. No bet he won’t be there one way or the other.”

Zabuza picks up a pen and tries to put his thoughts back onto grading. “Okay, Friday, what time?” Aoba names a time in the afternoon, and Zabuza determinedly doesn’t think about the sentinel question for the rest of the day.

* * *

Haku hasn’t stopped talking about Kakashi and Kakashi’s kids since they stopped trying to have a conversation with Zabuza about his sentinel search. Even when they’re walking to Aoba’s house from the nearest bus-stop, Haku keeps up an easy stream of chatter about Naruto’s latest attempt to find a seated hobby--crochet, which seems to be going over slightly better than knitting, probably because it’s quicker--Sasuke’s determination to be a doctor and his enormous amount of educational work that he’s doing as a result even though he’s eight, and Kakashi’s _everything_.

Seriously. Zabuza does _not_ need to know the man’s favorite tea, or what he wears everyday. He’s almost wondering if Haku has a crush on the man.

That’s the only reason why Zabuza’s gut burns, of course. Watching Haku grow up into an adult--even if Zabuza trusts Kakashi not to let anything happen should Haku try anything, the kinds of people who would take advantage of a minor’s crush on them tend to have a difficult time getting past a guide, no way one would be able to waltz into Tazuna’s Bridge on what appears to be a daily basis and not get found out--it’s hard. Zabuza still remembers the hilariously tiny child he first met so long ago, when he was nothing more than a kid himself.

Now, Haku almost doesn’t need Zabuza anymore; even if they want him in their life, still. At least there’s that.

Aoba and Gai have a charming house with an actual _backyard_ , smack in the middle of the suburbs, and Zabuza can smell food barbecuing and hear Gai laughing.

He’s pretty sure people two streets over can hear Gai laughing.

Haku lights up at the smell, and their steps lengthen just a bit as they go to the door.

Kisame has the door open before either of them are even ready to knock, and he grins at Haku who is just a few steps ahead of Zabuza. “Hey brat, there’s ayu skewers on the grill for you,” he says, and Zabuza huffs when Haku’s eyes light up even more and they almost run inside.

“You didn’t have to bribe my kid with their favorite food to get me alone, Kisame. You could have just asked,” Zabuza says, and he has to frown at his ex, who just raises an eyebrow. “And if you’re here to ask me to keep quiet about our old relationship, you should know Aoba and I already gossip about you.” Kisame booms out a laugh that is only rivaled by Gai's.

“I know, he told me over the phone as soon as it happened.” Zabuza follows Kisame into the abandoned kitchen, the open door to the backyard filtering the noise into an unintelligible cacophony. At least to Zabuza, he has no doubts that Kisame understands every word. “Just because I didn’t want to do schmoopy date things with you doesn’t mean you’re not my friend, Zabuza. I haven’t seen you in five years, man, can’t I want to catch up?”

Zabuza shrugs, and takes the drink Kisame offers after fussing around with the steam kettle. Kelp tea, he hasn’t had it in _ages_. “Gai and Aoba are nice. I’m glad you found someone.”

Kisame rolls his eyes. “I don’t do schmoopy date things with them either, I hope you’re not jealous. They have each other for that. I get some rocking sex and someone to ground my senses occassionally. It works for all of us.” Zabuza puts down the teacup with a harsh clink.

“Fuck, no, I’m not jealous over _you_ , idiot. Remember who broke up with who.” Zabuza rubs his face with his hands. He feels, rather than hears, Kakashi outside, and he’s only met the man once but he already feels like he knows him. Haku’s fault, really, but he knows that he could leave Kisame in the kitchen and go out and talk to Kakashi about dogs, Hashirama’s famous treatise on the role of a sentinel in peace time, or even something really weird like lichtenberg figures and he could get away from this conversation. He wouldn’t have to think about sentinels at all, even though he’d be talking to one.

“Come on, Momochi, I didn’t want to get into this with you anyway,” Kisame says, and thank kami for that. “I wanted to ask you to come back to Kiri. Got the department the way I want it and if anyone has any problems with you coming back they’ll answer to me.”

Going back to Kiri sounds like a dream come true. All the little things that he’s missed, daily, the things that make Wave feel more like home than Tanzaku did, or any of the other places they lived before that, simply because there’s so many people from Kiri who live here. But Wave is still part of Fire Country, still is mostly Fire residents, and it shows. Even the Kiri restaurants have a distinctly Fire feel to them, despite the familiar ingredients.

It’s everything Zabuza’s ever wanted since the moment he left.

“I can’t,” he says.

“Right. Because of Haku?” It’s not a far stretch for Kisame to guess, but it still makes Zabuza frown into his kelp tea.

“They’re happy here. It’s a good town. I don’t want to bring them back to Kiri with all that baggage attached to that place, especially since those bastards are still kicking.” Not that he hasn’t thought about putting an end to that once or twice, but then who would take care of Haku? “They deserve better, whatever I can give them.” Putting them back into the system--even if they _are_ latent, and the Center would keep a close watch--isn’t something Zabuza will allow to happen as long as he has a say in it.

“I get that,” Kisame says, and it feels like he really does. All Zabuza is getting off him is resignation and understanding, which is a relief, although it does kind of feel like his entire world has shifted even though this was a foregone conclusion. “Brat’s lucky to have you. But you know, you deserve to have what you want too. Are you really happy here? Do you need anything?”

“Of course I’m happy here. Though I wouldn’t say no to a care package with some tea and snacks every once in a while.” And Zabuza’s not lying. Teaching isn’t what he thought he’d be doing, but it’s pretty fun and he gets a lot of latitude from Sarutobi about his curriculum. Sure, if he met a sentinel on the force here tomorrow and clicked with them, he would be ecstatic, but teaching isn’t something he’s upset with.

“Yeah,” Kisame gets a beer from the fridge, one of the very few sentinel-safe brands--mostly meaning it tastes like yeasty, watery, sourness and is the consistency of slurried bread, less chemicals and processing but also not very appealing to look at either--and removes the cork. “I’ll put you on my list. Gai can’t go a month without stocking up on full moon wasabi prawn crackers, and Kakashi bribes his oldest with salted tomato candy. But, I’m serious man, you wanted a sentinel. And here you are, years later, and it’s still just you and the kid?”

“There wasn’t anyone right. I’m not going to settle.” If Zabuza didn’t know better, he’d think that Haku enlisted help and was plotting a massive conspiracy to get him bonded.

“Sure. Not saying you should. But you’ve always been really picky, are you sure you haven’t dismissed a possibility because you didn’t want to see it?” This is why Zabuza hates talking to Kisame. Bastard always manages to make too much sense when pointing out the flaws in Zabuza’s plans. He should probably have kept in better touch with him.

Kubi swishes into existence, nudging his by now cold tea, and Kisame’s spirit guide--a great white shark named Samehada, sharks being pretty common for Kiri natives, that and other fish--appears over his shoulder and floats through the open door. A little pug prances into the kitchen and settles weightlessly on Zabuza’s foot. Kisame looks at the scene and Zabuza gets a blast of amusement before Kisame’s emotional field goes blank.

“Yeah, yeah,” Zabuza says, sneering at Kisame, “laugh it up.”

* * *

Kakashi is back at Tazuna’s Bridge only a few days after Gai’s party, swirling the eggplant in his soup with his chopsticks.

Despite Haku assuring him they’d both be there, he’d only seen Haku the majority of the time, and the rest of the time Zabuza was holed up in the kitchen talking to Gai’s sentinel. Although, he will count it as a success that the blue shark Haku called Kubi came out and floated after him for a time before getting pulled into some incomprehensible game with Naruto that mostly seemed to involve a lot of screaming and running.

Most games that Naruto played involved a lot of screaming and running.

Pakkun was nowhere to be found for most of it, but came home at the end of the night looking as smug as was possible for a dog. Kakashi’s glad that at least _he_ got what he wanted out of the party. It was fun, and Gai’s a surprisingly good cook, but Kakashi had hoped that he’d finally, _finally_ be able to talk to Zabuza.

No such luck.

Haku passes by with a refill for his tea and a sympathetic smile. “Sorry about him, he’s being stubborn,” they say lowly, before flitting off to the next table.

Stubborn is one word for it. Kakashi isn’t going to give up, not on _this_ , but he’s tired of eating out everyday so he’s thinking another approach might be warranted.

The door softly swooshes open, and Haku makes a surprised sound in the back of their throat. “Oh, Zabuza, I thought you were going to eat at the college again today,” they say, and the natural cheer is evident in their voice. It’s warmer than their customer service voice, and Kakashi gets to hear it directed at him sometimes but never so quickly or so conspicuously.

He tries not to look up and stare at the man, but his hearing dials up without him really being in charge of it anyway. “Went to the Center today, Shizune suggested I come here. Had some news,” Zabuza says, sounding gruff, but also affectionate.

If Haku hadn’t told him that they were Zabuza’s adopted kid, his voice right then would have convinced Kakashi. Zabuza didn’t seem like someone who gives affection easily when they first met, and nothing Haku has told him since suggests otherwise. But he sounds very fond of Haku, not that that is a difficult thing.

“Oh!” Haku sounds pleased, and Kakashi can’t really blame them, even though he’s pretty sure that news isn’t anything good for Kakashi. He’s not going to hold out hope for that. “That’s wonderful, did you want your usual seat? Tsunami is trying to make Buri Daikon again, she’d love another opinion.”

“No, I’m going to sit somewhere different today.” It sounds like Zabuza claps a hand on Haku’s shoulder, and then he whispers, not loud enough for most people to hear but Kakashi’s been very unsuccessful at dialing back his hearing thus far, “next time, just tell me brat, no more trying to annoy me into doing what you want.”

Haku laughs, and despite the growly reprimand, they seem relieved.

He tracks Zabuza’s footsteps as they get closer, but somehow Kakashi is still surprised when the guide sits in the chair across from his. “So, that’s why Haku’s been telling me your life story everyday, huh? Were you coming here everyday just to catch me?”

Kakashi looks up, prepared for Zabuza to be angry, but the man just looks patient. “I just wanted to talk. I’m not good with unknowns.” He has Bisuke with him today, the smallest dog he has other than Pakkun, who doesn’t really count. Bisuke leans in against Kakashi’s ankles and the slight edge of anxiety bleeds off at the contact.

“I can understand that. And you’re willing to actually listen to me?” There’s a hint of warning in Zabuza’s voice, even though he still looks as patient as ever. Kakashi nods.

“Whatever I think up will be worse and harder to get over than knowing one way or the other. You don’t owe me anything, but I would really appreciate having a few answers,” Kakashi says, forcing himself to keep it smooth and steady. It’s times like this that he misses Obito the most, or Rin. Neither one of them would have had any problems just saying what was on their minds, but they’re over a decade gone and Kakashi is still here. He’ll make due with what he has.

“Sure.” Zabuza suddenly smiles, and it feels _sharp_. “Quid pro quo, then, what do you say?”

Kakashi can answer a few questions, and it’s only fair. “Okay, what do you want to know?” He stirs his soup a bit more, and Bisuke huffs at his feet.

“Haku says you own your own private security company. What do you do there?”

It’s not really a surprise to be asked about White Fang Securities, job incompatibility is probably the leading cause of bond interference. He’d never ask his guide to give up their work for him, though, and White Fang mostly doesn’t need him. “Nothing, really. Sign a few papers every month, check over what Tsume, Gai, and Yamato need me to check, but I decided when I adopted Naruto that he was going to be my first priority. Sasuke too. There’s room for me to go back when they get older, but I homeschool them, and volunteer at the hospital, too. I keep busy.” Naruto, he loves his son, keeps him the _most_ busy but there’s no reason to tell Zabuza that.

“Mmm, Gai mentioned something like that. Why do you want a guide?” Zabuza doesn’t look very invested, either way, but his heart rate ticks up on the question. Kakashi isn’t going to try to figure out why that is, but he almost wants to take it as a good sign.

“I don’t need help with my senses, even when I was in the air force I didn’t really need the temp guide they found for me. But I’d love a partner. Someone I could rely on. Someone who could understand.” Kakashi feels oddly vulnerable, talking about this out in the open, but if he ever gets a chance to chase that potential he has with Zabuza, then Kakashi needs to be open and honest. He shoves a spoonful of soup into his mouth and Zabuza grins.

It feels like electricity along Kakashi’s spine.

“Okay. Shoot, what do you want to know?” Zabuza leans back into his chair and every worry Kakashi has been dwelling over for over a week falls right out of his head.

“Saah,” he stalls for time, and then it just comes rushing back and Kakashi looks away, back towards the wall that Tsunami keeps covered in pictures of sailboats and bridges. “Why don’t you want a sentinel?” It comes out sounding more like ‘why don’t you want _me_ ,’ and Kakashi’s normally tight hold on his emotional field loosens and he’s probably blasting Zabuza and any other guide in the café with his grief but he can’t quite get a hold of it again. Bisuke whines and licks his ankle.

Zabuza has a frown on his face, and Kakashi misses the wide, sharp grin like burning. “I never said I didn’t.” There's a spark of hope at Zabuza’s answer, but Kakashi knows better than to rely on such a small thing just yet. He does manage to look back at Zabuza, though. “I’ve been reliably informed that I’ve been far too stubborn about things.” Zabuza flicks a wry look across the café, and Kakashi follows it enough to catch Haku leaving an extremely clean table with their cleaning supplies and going into the back.

“Oh,” he says, lamely, and he wonders how much everyone in the café has heard so far. The thought of becoming the hottest town gossip itches.

“Sorry,” Zabuza says, not sounding very sorry, but the amusement is good to hear and Kakashi likes it far more than is healthy for him. “Want to get out of here, sentinel?”

Kakashi stares at Zabuza, not even really registering what sounds like a pick-up line for long moments. It’s only when Zabuza opens his mouth again, probably to clarify, that Kakashi realizes what’s going on and he blurts out, “yes, absolutely.”

* * *

Zabuza hadn’t been sure about what he wanted to do from the time the Shizune told him right up until Kakashi’s shields fell, but he doesn’t regret this at all.

The little dog that was with Kakashi wanders off, further into the man’s house, and Zabuza just can’t help but take the opportunity to slide a hand across a pale cheek. Kakashi shudders, and Zabuza notices that he has a very light but still noticeable up close tan line across his face; a sure sign that he wears the scarf Zabuza saw at their first meeting across it very often.

“Kakashi, we’re going to need to talk later, work some things out, but right now I really want to kiss you.” It’s been a very long time since Zabuza kissed anyone. At the time, he didn’t mind, Zabuza had other things to think about, to worry about. It hadn’t even really been a conscious choice, but now he wants nothing more.

Kakashi shudders under Zabuza’s hand again, and nods, looking Zabuza straight in the eyes with a hooded expression.

His lips are soft, just a bit chapped under Zabuza’s, and it takes a moment for them both to get the pressure just right, the warming waves of lust, and yes, and this is what I’ve been waiting for lapping all around them. Zabuza wants to press Kakashi into the wall, deepen the kiss into something more, just like their tenuous connection that Zabuza is only just starting to feel is deepening into a temporary bond, but he breaks off instead, touching foreheads and sharing breath.

It’s intense, more intense than anything Zabuza thought it could be.

Still, it feels more right than almost anything else has in his life. It feels like the day the Center told him that Haku was _his_ , officially and without reservation. That whisper of triumph, and belonging, and rightness.

“Where have you been this whole time? I’ve been looking for you,” Kakashi says, feeling sad but also hopeful along their nascent bond, and for the first time since he came online Zabuza is more than okay with feeling another’s feelings, he’s happy to. There’s something that could turn into love threaded through it all and Zabuza cherishes that.

“Sentinel,” he says, snorting, even as he wraps Kakashi in his own feelings of happiness and contentment, the ache in his chest gone for the first time in years. “I’ve been here for years, I can’t be responsible for your shitty sense of direction.”

He feels very dragon-like, hoarding Kakashi away behind his barriers, protecting him from the outside world. Kakashi sighs, radiating comfort. “As you say, guide. It’s my fault entirely.” There’s humor in it, but Zabuza is okay with people laughing at him.

After all, he gets Kakashi for the rest of their lives. He can put up with terrible senses of humor, two horrors that Kakashi calls children, and more dogs than he ever wanted if he gets that.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic would not. Stop. Growing. Oh my god, I thought it was going to be maybe 5k at the most. It is over 13k+ and I just barely managed to post in time for the event. Still, I think it's a pretty good fic, if I do say so myself, and definitely my longest published work on ao3 to date. I hope everyone likes it!
> 
> This is for the [KakaZabu Week](https://uzushi0.tumblr.com/post/618753935915827200/event-kakazabu-week-2020) for [Uzushi0](https://uzushi0.tumblr.com/), which I have participated in successfully every year since it started. That is not something I can say very often XD.
> 
> If you'd like, come visit me on [tumblr](https://sachinighte.tumblr.com/)!


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